A Gameday in the Life of a Masterbatter

• - Wake up
• - Grunt
• - Scratch
• - Drink tiny cup of water, for healths
• - Drink very large glass of whiskey, for better healths
• - Walk to balcony / window and growl at the day's upcoming inconveniences
• - Fuck you inconveniences
• - Smile at the knowledge that You. Are. Masterbatter.
• - Smile at lovely sun
• - Lovely sun means dry field means softball tonight
• - Go into bathroom
• - Do bathroom things
• - Shave with a chainsaw
• - Trim nethers with a cheese grater
• - Wink at handsome devil in the mirror
• - Dress
• - Give appropriate form of affection toward significant other / pet(s) / '85 Bears poster
• - Be generous to other citizens on commute, they are stuck in your world after-all
• - Work
• - Mid morning pick-me-up: sneer powerfully at photos of adults playing kickball
• - Work
• - Lunch: High protein, seasoned with shavings of Mt. St. Helens' magma, side of steel cable
• - Work
• - Mid afternoon pick-me-up: speakers on, metal / punk at high volume, lift desk
• - Work
• - Leave work thinking of tasty american beer, lovely green grass and lovely brown infield
• - Be generous to other citizens on commute, they are stuck in your world after-all
• - Superman-style change into uniform under work clothes
• - Arrive at designated field
• - Masterbat
• - Attend Cody's Public House
• - Pet many woofers at Cody's Public House
• - Drink celebratory ales and lagers
• - Laugh at defeated opponents and winner of bag-of-dicks
• - Eventually sleep