Late Night Affairs!

Topical!  

#News #Nudes #Newp!

We're playing shorthanded tonight everyone - so be ready to go.  Eat a good dinner, watch an episode of 'Cheaters' from your DVD collection, have an argument with your significant other or child, maybe think about taking your motorcycle out for a spin and driving it right down the expressway off-ramp and seeing how far you make it before you take some equally miserable twat out and end all of this wonderful misery.  

Or like, don't do that. 

Maybe put a fucking smile on, have a laugh and realize that life is pretty fucking awesome, you dipshit.  You ever listen to fucking 'Shiny Happy People' by REM?  That song is the best.  And you're on this softball team full of weirdos and spazzwads - damn that's cool.

Be careful if you start watching Mr. Robot.

Anyway, here's a sweet picture I found.  

!!!!!

Holypotatoesguy,it'salreadyThursday!!!! Canyoubelieveit???

Manomanoman thisisgreatnewsthatwegettoplaysoftballtonightanddrinkandhavefuntogether.

*sniff* HaveIevertoldyouguysthatIlike,reallyreallyreallyhavealotoffunwithyouandthatweshouldneverstopplayingsoftballbecauseitislikethebestwaytohangwithyouguysandhaveagoodtime?

*sniffsniff*  MansometimestherealityofwhatwehavehereisjustSOoverwhelmingIcanbarelykeepitallinallthetime. *sniff* YouknowthatHamlinParkwasoriginallyrecognizedin1910anditson8acresofland??!! 

*sniffsniff* It'strueIreadallaboutitbecauseIreallyliketheparkalotandthehistoryofChicagoisreallyimportanttoknowwhenyoulivehereandstuff. 

*sniff* BUtIthinkthatwecantotallywintheleagueoncewestarttheplayoffsbecausewe'vegothistroyonoursideandtheotherteamsdon'tknowhowtohandlehighpressuresituationsandstuff

-areyouwarm,I'mlikereallywarm -

 butanywaywe'retotallygointokickeveryone'sassintheplayoffsandhavethebestafterpartyCody'shaseverseen,youknow?!  

*sniff*

Solet'sallmakesurethatwerunrealfastandthrowrealhardandmaxoutoneverythingtonightduringourcokeheadgame!

***EDIT*** So, hey guys - just a quick post script to my rant up there... turns out I totally mis-understood what kind of game we had tonight.  It's a CO-ED game tonight.  Now I'm broke and probably going to lose my job.  I just sneezed a powdered donut.  

Beer Duty

What does it mean if I see my name on Beer Duty?

1. Grab a case of beer put on some ice and bring to the game
2. If you see CUPS next to your name, grab CUPS in addition to the beer.
3. But I am married and I see me and my wife's name...yea each one of you should grab a case ( MATH 1+1=2)
4. Show up atleast 1/2 hr early to the game with the beer so your teammates can hydrate before playing.

Soggy Double Header Day

THIS WHOLE SEASON IS OUT OF ORDER!  Tonight is the night to turn things around - ante back up and bring down the house.  Like Robert Downey Jr's acting career.  Or the fucking wild-card SF Giants winning the World Series last season.  Or JC kicking over a stone door and totally opting out of cave-dwelling.  Like Japan and Germany after... you know...

Enough buggering around.  We've got early games tonight and we all know that we usually suck at early games.  But like, let's not.  Riiiigghhht?  Totes.  When you're sweating to make it to the field on time, think about how to play the game instead of stressing on the creeper breathing on you on the train.  When the convertible Fiat 500 cuts you off in traffic, imagine your perfect swing connecting with the ball and driving that twat's domepiece into left-center.   Oh, some Divvy biking young-professional-dad-to-be-with-a-new-helmet-and-biking-gloves just lolligagged through a stop sign, buzzed your front bumper and then flicked you off?  Consider how tough it is for the other team to field a hot grounder, set their feet and then throw a huge softball across the field.  Ug, the bus is taking for-ev-er... more time to build up confidence and realize this a big ball and we are human powerhouses.  It's a simple game and like playing your 4 year old nephew in Sorry - you can crush their joy so fast.  

Let's win 2 tonight, convincingly.  Hit the dern ball.  Hit the dern ball very herd.  

Then we'll go to the ber.  Maybe sit in the back yerd and throw a game of derts?