Hot off the wire!

Oh gee whiz, hi everybody.  This is your 'ol pal Skip (see that's short for Skipper, neat-o huh?) checking in to just let you know that you guys are the playing like the tops! This here has been about the most fun time I've had with a gang in years.  Back then though, we were just playing stickball in the alley with the Big Bopper on the AM radio.  And golly, nothing tasted better after a stickball game with pals than an ice cold cola from the 5 and dime.  'Course the 5 and dime was run by some fellas we suspected had some Ruskie blood in 'em, but they didn't harm us none. 

I'll never forget the best game we played that summer though, my pal Suspenders had his cousins in town and they got friendly with some fellas down near the train station.  See we called him Suspenders because his dad used to stuff his socks with garlic and hang them from the window - Suspenders' dad was a disgusting fucker.  Anyway, Suspenders and his cousins bring these guys to the alley to play a game-a stickball with us.  Before the game though, these strange fellers kept staring at these little plastic boxes in their hands and weren't paying much attention, so we just explained the rules to them.  They kept talking about Four-square and my pals-n-me kept tellin' em no - the game was stickball, dang it. So they puts the little boxes in their pockets and we played a game - those strangers weren't worth a hill of beans I tell ya.  No eye for the ball and the softest hands outside of that jazz bar where all the older boys dance with th'others.    So fix a whooping on 'em and they ain't the worst fellas to talk to so we got a cola after the game.

When we get to talking they start rambling on about some getting some hashbrowns to trend or something or other.  Course my pals n'me snicker like horses at 'em.  Well that gets them in a huff and they start quizzin' us about the sites we visit.  I told 'em I went to Antietam once with m'pa. 

Then they takes us to this hotel and we sneak into the business center and they got a nice big TV screen on the table and these fellas start typin away on a half-a typewriter.  Next thing I know, I can see some ladies knickers!  Hot darn, I says!

I pushed that city slicker to the side and took control.  I asked the dandy if the one button would spit me out a new Gatsby to help with the sun, and next thing I know I CAN'T STOP YELLING AT EVERYONE.  GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE, THIS MACHINE IS GOING TO RUIN MY VOICE!  HOW'M I GON TELL SUSPENDERS TO SHIFT OVER WHEN LOUIS THE LEFTY COMES UP TO THE PLATE - EVERYONES GOING TO KNOW?!  SEVEN HELLS I CAN'T STANDS MUCH MORE BUT THE OTHER SCREEN THING ON HERE HAS LADIES BLOOMERS AND THAT'S A PRICE WORTH PAYING, SAYS I.  I'LL NEVER PLAY OUTSIDE AGAIN!